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Tuesday 16th October 2018

The Fear


The Fear - woman hiding under blanket

Over the last year, I’ve been fairly gung-ho about the process of setting up a business from scratch. When I quit my full-time job, some people reacted with that expression you know means, ‘I wouldn’t have done that, if I were you’.

There were moments where I felt unsure and frustrated (at the slow progress of something I thought would have been up-and-running by now) but overall I felt confident that what I was doing was the right thing and that Kintsugi would prevail. Until this week. This week, I had my first experience of full-scale panic and self-doubt. It sprung from a discussion with the manufacturer over the cost of production (higher than anticipated) and shipping (higher than anticipated) and spiralled from there.

I started to feel like I was losing control of things. I felt helpless about the additional costs and worried about their implications. In terms of business planning and financial forecasting, it changes things. I suspect a trip to see the accountant is due. Regardless, discovering these unexpected costs was just the trigger for this cloud of self-doubt. It could have been anything, I suppose. But my weak spot is managing the financials. I don’t have a knack for numbers, despite the fact that my mum, dad and brother are all incredibly numerate.

What I fear is allowing my weaknesses to railroad Kintsugi. I fear letting people down by failing to deliver their expectations. I feel like I’m holding something fragile and I’m scared to drop it. I know that focusing on these fears increases the likelihood of them coming to fruition, but sometimes it’s difficult to keep them at bay.

What do you do in times of self-doubt? How do you keep your mind-set positive and your confidence high? I’d love to read your advice.